Tranquility Workshops Blog

Even when you’re in the presence of someone, you can feel all alone.  This occurs when the other person  is not giving you his/her full attention, and is instead focusing on something else while being with you.  I’m sure that we’ve all been in situations where you know the other person is not fully listening to you, and if you comment on that fact, the other person responds:  “I’ve heard every word you’ve said.”   We’re not looking for people just to hear our words.  We’re looking for the connection with them.

Recently I asked some people to give me examples of  this happening in their personal lives:

• (55 year old male)

“When I come home from work, I like to take a few minutes to reconnect with my wife and share some of the highlights of our day.  When I’m talking to her, she’s usually responds to my conversation with short comments, but never makes eye contact with me because she’s rushing around tending to some household chore.  I feel unimportant…….”

• (60 year old female)

“When I’m riding in the car with my husband, I feel like I’m all alone because his attention is either on the numerous phone calls that he makes, or he appears to be deep in thought about something (probably related to the phone calls).  I feel like I’m invisible to him.”

• (37 year old female)

“When I’m in the presence of my teenage daughter, her eye gaze is primarily on her phone, and the majority of her attention is on texting.  She will respond to questions I ask (with no eye contact), and I feel like I’m not important enough for her to spend quality time with me.”

• (43 year old female)

“The last time I went out for drinks and appetizers with my husband, we sat at the bar of our favorite restaurant.  I was so looking forward to spending time talking with him,  but I didn’t have his full attention, because the TV screen kept pulling him away.  I was so disappointed.  We could have stayed home to watch TV”. 

• (4 year old boy)

“Daddy……..look at me!”

Your full attention is one of the most precious gifts you can give someone.  Stop and really connect with the people in your life today.  They will feel the difference!